


don't worry about it

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Gen, M/M, Rated T for swearing, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, So is Dream, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, and otherwise i just pretend like its normal for a child to be named technoblade, fencing as a replacement for minecraft even though the author knows fuck all about fencing, groupchat fic, if any creator expresses discomfort with this kind of fic being written i will immediately delete it, niki deserves two girlfriends :D, obligatory dadza adopted the sbi au, one (1) established relationship, real names are only used if the creator uses them, shipping the personas not the people, tags to be updated with the fic, technoblade is a fencing legend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29304954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: tommy needs help with his homework, so he makes a family groupchat. it goes downhill very fast.--apologies for the shit summary, essentially it's just a high school/sbi-as-family au but it's a groupchat
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy/Niki | Nihachu, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Fundy/5up, Minx | JustAMinx/Niki | Nihachu, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 58
Kudos: 616
Collections: Anonymous





	1. tommy doesn't know when the war of 1812 happened

**Author's Note:**

> posting this on anon so i don't get canceled. is shipping niki with people problematic? idk i just think she deserves a girlfriend or two
> 
> basically just a groupchat fic featuring pretty much every creator i can put in there. takes place at some fictional american high school (because i'm american and that's the only kind of school i know). phil adopted the sleepy boys when they were younger and they grew up as brothers, order goes techno -> will -> tommy from oldest to youngest. techno is a fencing star and coaches ranboo as a side job, a bunch of other people are fencers, they all go to the same high school, shenanigans ensue. 
> 
> again, if ANY of the creators in this fic express discomfort with this kind of fic being written about them, i will delete this immediately, no questions asked.

**[TommyInnit added technopig, wimblursoup, Ph1lza, ILikeDaBee to a new group]**

TommyInnit: Can someone help me with my homework

Ph1lza: I’m downstairs, Tommy. Why didn’t you just come down here?

TommyInnit: Dunno 

technopig: homework? what a neeeeeeeerd

Ph1lza: Techno, don’t be mean to your brother. 

wimblursoup: NEEEEEEERD

Ph1lza: Wil. 

ILikeDaBee: NEEEEEEEEEEERD

Ph1lza: Tubbo!

ILikeDaBee: sorry I got peer presured 

Ph1lza: Tommy, what do you need help with? 

TommyInnit: Homework

wimblursoup: he meant what homework, idiot 

TommyInnit: shut up 

Ph1lza: Wilbur, seriously. 

technopig: phil he simply just deserves it too much for us to abstain 

wimblursoup: ^^^

wimblursoup: is this supposed to be a family groupchat 

wimblursoup: why is tubbo here

wimblursoup: hes not family

technopig: technically none of us are family 

Ph1lza: Legally we sure fucking are. 

technopig: laws are threats made by the ruling class 

TommyInnit: I just wanted help on my hw

ILikeDaBee: I can help you

TommyInnit: Oh have you done the homework for History already 

ILikeDaBee: We had history Hw?

technopig: imagine doing homework

wimblursoup: lol same :)

Ph1lza: Boys, if you have homework, please do it. 

technopig: you’re not my real dad

Ph1lza: God help me if I was. 

**[TommyInnit → ILikeDaBee]**

TommyInnit: Wait so have you actually not done the homework cause if you have I need help

ILikeDaBee: No I defiantly didnt do it

TommyInnit: fuck

**[wimblursoup → technopig]**

wimblursoup: you know how to write essays, right

technopig: i charge ten bucks an hour

wimblursoup: i just wanted to know what mla format was 

technopig: twenty 

**[wimblursoup has blocked technopig]**

technopig: DAD 

**[Ph1lza → wimblursoup]**

Ph1lza: Unblock your brother right now. 

wimblursoup: tattletale 

**[wimblursoup has unblocked technopig]**

**[Group: TommyInnit, technopig, wimblursoup, Ph1lza, ILikeDaBee]**

**[TommyInnit renamed the group to: Family groupchat]**

**[TommyInnit renamed the group to: Family groupchat + Tubbo]**

ILikeDaBee: :(

**[TommyInnit renamed the group to: Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

ILikeDaBee: :D

wimblursoup: hey dad

Ph1lza: Yes, Wil? 

Ph1lza: You’re also home. I am in the room next to you. 

wimblursoup: how do you do mla format

Ph1lza: If you talk to me in person, I’ll tell you. 

**[wimblursoup is calling the group]**

Ph1lza: …

technopig: he’s filing the paperwork to disown you right now

wimblursoup: damn

wimblursoup: no but like really

wimblursoup: how do you do mla format

wimblursoup: guys 

**[TommyInnit → dreamwastaken]**

TommyInnit: Hello my best friend dream

dreamwastaken: ...what do you want 

TommyInnit: Can you help me with my homework

dreamwastaken: don’t you have two older brothers you could ask and a dad who would be more than willing to help you 

TommyInnit: No Phil’s disowning Wilbur right now he’s busy 

dreamwastaken: okay 

dreamwastaken: what do you need help with 

TommyInnit: I don’t know anything about American history

TommyInnit: It’s so stupid

dreamwastaken: ask your american brother then? isn’t he super smart

dreamwastaken: but also what do you need to know

TommyInnit: When did the War of 1812 happen

dreamwastaken: tommy. 

TommyInnit: What

dreamwastaken: when do you fucking think it happened it’s called the war of 1812

TommyInnit: Oh

dreamwastaken: how can one child be so smart and so fucking stupid at the same time

TommyInnit: You’ve met the rest of my family

TommyInnit: It’s genetic

dreamwastaken: YOU’RE ADOPTED

TommyInnit: Wait I am?

dreamwastaken: don’t contact this number ever again

TommyInnit: Dream were on discord

TommyInnit: Dream

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

TommyInnit: Dad dream called me stupid 

technopig: did you deserve it? what did you do?

TommyInnit: I asked him when the war of 1812 happened

technopig: yeah you deserved that 

  
  


**[TommyInnit → technopig]**

TommyInnit: Are you still working 

technopig: no, the orphan did well today. he’s going home early. 

TommyInnit: Tell ranboo I said hi 

technopig: i’ll tell him you said to go to hell, how’s that work?

TommyInnit: Thats fine

TommyInnit: Can you help me with my history homework

TommyInnit: I dont get american history

technopig: uh yeah i can help you when i’m home

technopig: hold on ranboo’s trying to steal a sword i’ll talk to you at home tommy

TommyInnit: Oh ok 

TommyInnit: See you at home bro

**[The Teenz]**

TommyInnit: Ranboo

Ranboo: heyyyy tommy whats hip happening

TommyInnit: Did you steal a sword from techno 

Ranboo: me? steal a sword from fencing legend technoblade who could kill me with a hand behind his back and a blindfold on? 

Ranboo: do i look like a fool to you

TommyInnit: He told me you did 

Ranboo: oh i mean i’m definitely a fool i did take the sword

ILikeDaBee: poggers

ILikeDaBee: Can I have it 

Ranboo: no he took it back already 

ILikeDaBee: Not poggers 

TommyInnit: Ranboo did you do the history homework 

Ranboo: yeah

TommyInnit: Can you help me

Ranboo: that was a trick i didn’t do it 

Ranboo: gotcha

ILikeDaBee: dam

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

wimblursoup: father 

Ph1lza: ...What do you want.

wimblursoup: cant a child just appreciate their father

Ph1lza: No. What do you want? 

wimblursoup: im offended to my very core, father

wimblursoup: but if youre asking, i just wanted to tell you that im going to nikis after school tomorrow

technopig: simp 

wimblursoup: techno just because i have friends doesnt mean im a simp

technopig: friends are for weak idiots

Ph1lza: Techno, kiddo, are you okay?

technopig: yeah i’m fine 

Ph1lza: Okay. Are you on your way home? 

technopig: ye

wimblursoup: you dont have a car or a liscence how are you getting home

technopig: license*

technopig: and george is driving me 

technopig: he doesn’t have practice today so i don’t know why he was here but i wasn’t about to let the orphan drive me home

Ph1lza: Oh, how is Ranboo doing? I miss him, tell him to come by for dinner sometime soon. 

technopig: phil you don’t need a fourth child 

Ph1lza: I didn’t need any children. 

Ph1lza: And yet here we are. 

TommyInnit: Was dream at practice today 

technopig: yeah for like a bit

wimblursoup: oh thats why george was there then 

technopig: what

TommyInnit: Not important

**[The Teenz]**

TommyInnit: Techno will be home soon he is on his way

TommyInnit: Hes going to help me with my homework and then you two can copy 

ILikeDaBee: Pog!!!!!

Ranboo: thanks tommy 

**[wimblursoup → nikinihachu]**

wimblursoup: see you after school tomorrow, excited to hang out 

nikinihachu: Me too! Is it okay if Minx and Cara come? 

wimblursoup: do not let that irishwoman anywhere near me or im divorcing you

nikinihachu: Sorry Wil, that wasn’t a question! Minx and Cara are coming, see you then!

**[wimblursoup → justaminx]**

wimblursoup: bitch 

justaminx: asshole 

**[Ranboo → technopig]**

Ranboo: hey sensei 

technopig: hey orphan

Ranboo: you’re not actually mad at me for the sword thing right

technopig: nah fam 

technopig: don’t worry about it

**[technopig added dreamwastaken, Ranboo, ILikeDaBee, georgenotfound, skeppy, badboyhalo, tapL to a new group]**

**[technopig renamed the group to: FENCING POG]**

technopig: yo so dadza was telling me i should make a groupchat for the fencing group so that we can coordinate and stuff

technopig: and since it’s dadza you have to listen

ILikeDaBee: oh Pog!!!!

ILikeDaBee: Phil is smart 

skeppy: well he adpoted techno sp he cant be that smart 

technopig: i’m outside your house right now come fight me 

georgenotfound: Bad news we literally are 

georgenotfound: You’re on the way from the center to Techno’s place

georgenotfound: He paid me ten dollars to stop

tapL: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT 

Ranboo: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

ILikeDaBee: Gogy why arent you driving

georgenotfound: We’re parked outside of Skeppy’s house

skeppy: OH MYGSOD YOU ACTUALLYT ARE WHAT THE FUCN TECHBO

technopig: :)

tapL: FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

**[TommyInnit → technopig]**

TommyInnit: Are you almost home

technopig: nah i’m fighting skeppy

TommyInnit: Uh

technopig: don’t worry about it 

**[dreamwastaken → georgenotfound]**

dreamwastaken: thanks for coming to watch me practice 

georgenotfound: Of course :) 

dreamwastaken: stop by anytime :)

georgenotfound: I will 

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

Ph1lza: Technoblade, I swear to god, if you are actually fighting Skeppy I’m gonna disown you for real this time. 

Ph1lza: Techno. 

technopig: don’t worry about it 


	2. où est la bibliothèque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technoblade doesn't know the difference between simping and being friends with. tommy finally gets his history homework done. phil attempts to adopt more children.

**[technopig → wimblursoup]**

technopig: hey wilbur 

wimblursoup: what do you want techno 

wimblursoup: techno our bedrooms are next to each other

wimblursoup: not to sound like dad but 

wimblursoup: talk to me

technopig: you need a ride to school?

wimblursoup: yeah

technopig: dream’s taking me you wanna come

wimblursoup: sure 

technopig: ok he’s here let’s go

wimblursoup: techno it’s like six am 

technopig: we’re getting coffee

wimblursoup: i hate you so much 

**[TommyInnit → Ph1lza]**

TommyInnit: Dad wilbur and techno left

TommyInnit: I need a ride to school 

Ph1lza: Where the hell did they go?

TommyInnit: Theyre getting coffee with dream

Ph1lza: Oh, okay. Yes, I can take you, give me a couple minutes. 

TommyInnit: Thanks dad

**[Sapnap → georgenotfound]**

Sapnap: yo where the fuck are you???

Sapnap: dude

georgenotfound: I’m getting coffee with Dream and Wil and Techno why 

Sapnap: and you didn’t invite me???

georgenotfound: I texted you and you were asleep still 

georgenotfound: Dumbass

Sapnap: :(

**[The Teenz]**

TommyInnit: Tubbo do you need me to pick you up 

ILikeDaBee: If you want you can!!!

TommyInnit: Dadza offered cause hes driving me cause techno and wil ditched me

ILikeDaBee: yeah Ill see you then!!

Ranboo: did you ever do that history homework

TommyInnit: SHIT 

TommyInnit: Techno got distractd by fighting skeppy i think

Ranboo: oh i saw that lmao 

ILikeDaBee: Oh me too!!!! What happened?

Ranboo: techno fought skeppy

ILikeDaBee: Like fr??

Ranboo: dunno i wasn’t there

Ranboo: ask skeppy

**[ILikeDaBee → skeppy]**

ILikeDaBee: What happened with Techno last night?

skeppy: i domt want to talk about ut 

ILikeDaBee: Ok 

ILikeDaBee: Can I ask bad?

skeppy: dont

**[FENCING POG]**

ILikeDaBee: Bad?

badboyhalo: Hey Tubbo! What’s up? 

skeppy: WHt PART OF DONT 

ILikeDaBee: What happened with skeepy and techno last night 

badboyhalo: Oh! I think Techno just kind of jumped on him and screamed something in French. George took a video, I’m sure you can ask him to show you!

georgenotfound: What’s up

georgenotfound: Oh, yeah I have a video. 

**[georgenotfound sent a video]**

ILikeDaBee: SKEEPY

ILikeDaBee: WHY LMAO

skeppy: GEORGE 

skeppy: WHT THE FUCL

technopig: my proudest moment of this calendar year 

badboyhalo: Aw, Skeppy, don’t worry, I thought you fought back very well.

technopig: he’s lying you’re a coward and a fool 

technopig: also 

**[technopig added Sapnap to FENCING POG]**

technopig: rip sapnap but i forgot he existed lmao

**[nikinihachu added wimblursoup, justaminx, CptPuffy, NotAFurry to a new group]**

**[nikinihachu renamed the group to: study group :D]**

wimblursoup: STUDYING

wimblursoup: you told me i could play mariokart on your switch :(

wimblursoup: also whys the furry here

NotAFurry: I was invited fuck off 

nikinihachu: Be nice!!

nikinihachu: And of course you can play Mariokart, Wil. I just promised Cara I’d help her with her German!

wimblursoup: simp. fundy will you play mariokart with me

NotAFurry: yeah

wimblursoup: pog. niki you want an iced latte from roothouse?

nikinihachu: Yes, that’s so sweet! Thank you :D

NotAFurry: can I have something

wimblursoup: no 

**[skeppy → technopig]**

skeppy: hey so 

skeppy: funny story 

**[technopig sent an image]**

technopig: here’s the chem homework

skeppy: thansk

**[The Teenz]**

Ranboo: okay i guessed on the homework but here’s what i wrote

**[Ranboo sent an image]**

ILikeDaBee: POG thank you

TommyInnit: oh pogchamp thank you Ranboo

TommyInnit: Ranboo you should try and steal that sword from techno again

TommyInnit: itd be funny

Ranboo: i don’t intend on dying this day, tommy

**[skeppy → badboyhalo]**

skeppy: wher eare you

skeppy: i cant find u :(

badboyhalo: Cafeteria! I was just chatting with Harvey and Finn. 

badboyhalo: Is something wrong? 

skeppy: need hug :(

badboyhalo: Aw, did Techno hurt you?

skeppy: ok nevr mind then 

badboyhalo: Wait, I take it back! I’ll give you a hug. 

badboyhalo: You have Chem first, right? 

badboyhalo: I’ll meet you outside the classroom. 

skeppy: :D

**[technopig → skeppy]**

technopig: stop simping for bad directly outside my classroom

**[Ranboo → technopig]**

Ranboo: gave tommy the answers you gave me sensei 

Ranboo: this feels very complicated

Ranboo: you’re literally brothers i think you’re allowed to give him homework answers

technopig: it’s about the IMAGE, orphan

technopig: this is why you’re not done with your training yet

Ranboo: of course

Ranboo: i have much to learn

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

Ph1lza: Okay boys, where are we all going after school? I’m trying to figure out dinner plans. 

wimblursoup: im going to nikis 

wimblursoup: i think she has food but if she doesnt minx owes us all wendys anyways

technopig: i have my training arc 

wimblursoup: please just say you have practice 

technopig: t r a i n i n g a r c 

technopig: i’ll be home by six 

TommyInnit: Can I go to ranboo’s 

Ph1lza: Sure! You wanna come home and eat with Techno and I or stay there? 

TommyInnit: Ill come home 

Ph1lza: Tubbo, what about you? 

ILikeDaBee: Same thing as tommy

technopig: when the dad instinct is so strong you ask the one who’s not your kid what he’s doing

Ph1lza: I was just curious if he wanted to come over for dinner!

Ph1lza: Invite Ranboo too! I’ll make some pizza.

technopig: dad no there’s already three of us

technopig: tubbo and the orphan aren’t even real orphans they have parents

wimblursoup: you think that matters to dadza

wimblursoup: he will not stop until hes adopted everyone

technopig: phil will acquire every single child 

technopig: orphan or not 

wimblursoup: exactly 

Ph1lza: I am going to re-orphan you all. 

technopig: noooooo don’t do that

**[FENCING POG]**

**[technopig sent an image]**

technopig: look at these two simps outside my chemistry class

technopig: and make fun of them accordingly

georgenotfound: It’s kinda cute.

ILikeDaBee: Techno just because people have friends doesnt mean their simps 

technopig: don’t quote wilbur at me. friends are for cowards

technopig: anyways can someone take me to practice today 

georgenotfound: I can give you a ride again

technopig: do you even have practice today?

georgenotfound: No, but I’m going to watch Dream

technopig: chat i’m gonna say it 

ILikeDaBee: TEchnoblade do not 

**[speak german love women]**

nikinihachu: Cara, Minx, are you two still coming over today? 

justaminx: only if wil isn’t 

nikinihachu: Um

justaminx: yeah i’ll be there dw

CptPuffy: I’ll be there!

CptPuffy: Fundy and WIlbur are coming yeah?

CptPuffy: Is Fundy bringing his boyfriend?

justaminx: fundy doesn’t??? have a boyfriend????

CptPuffy: …he doesn’t???

CptPuffy: Then who the hell did I see him kissing in the hallway???

justaminx: WHAT 

nikinihachu: CARA

justaminx: are you sure it wasn’t someone else??

CptPuffy: I’m colorblind I’m not regular blind 

nikinihachu: ??????

CptPuffy: I swear I saw him kissing someone 

CptPuffy: Hold on

**[CptPuffy → NotAFurry]**

CptPuffy: Fundy can I ask you something?

NotAFurry: yeah?

CptPuffy: Are you dating anyone? 

NotAFurry: ...no

CptPuffy: Huh 

**[speak german love women]**

CptPuffy: I mean he said no but I know what I saw 

nikinihachu: Can I add Wil to this group so we can ask him? 

nikinihachu: He’s good friends with Fundy. 

justaminx: absolutely fucking not 

**[nikinihachu added wimblursoup to speak german love women]**

wimblursoup: what a fitting name i love it

CptPuffy: Wil is Fundy dating anyone? 

wimblursoup: uh not that i know of why

CptPuffy: Cause I swear I saw him kiss someone in the hallway the other day 

wimblursoup: oh that was probably ollie 

CptPuffy: Who? 

wimblursoup: ollies his friend

wimblursoup: that he kisses sometimes

wimblursoup: dont ask me to explain it i dont know 

justaminx: men!! i don’t get them!!

wimblursoup: dont blame men for this fundys just fuckin weird

wimblursoup: you cna blame men for other things but not this

nikinihachu: Well, whatever makes him happy! 

CptPuffy: Baffling 

**[technopig → dreamwastaken]**

technopig: do you have practice today? 

dreamwastaken: yeah, why

technopig: just curious 

technopig: george doesn’t 

dreamwastaken: no, he has it on monday-wednesday

technopig: but he’s taking me to practice today

technopig: because he’s going

technopig: to watch you 

dreamwastaken: yeah?

technopig: nothing

technopig: just stating the facts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! i don't really have a plot in mind lol, just kinda figuring it out as i go! hope you guys like it, leave a comment or kudos if you did!
> 
> \--
> 
> the chapter title is just "where is the library" in french lmao. also roothouse is a real coffeeshop that i've been to but it sounds like soothouse so. that's why


	3. nobody taught technoblade how to have tact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technoblade angers a few people. wilbur tries to play matchmaker. 
> 
> \--
> 
> when you see "--" the style goes from groupchat to real life! won't have a ton of these vignettes, but i like having some of them for fun!

**[technopig → wimblursoup]**

technopig: wilbur

wimblursoup: whats up 

technopig: how do relationships work 

wimblursoup: im younger than you

wimblursoup: shouldnt i be asking you this

technopig: yes but i’m the emotionally stunted brother, wilbur

wimblursoup: why are you asking 

technopig: because i’m trying to figure out why george keeps going to watch dream at practice 

technopig: practice is boring if you aren’t the one stabbing

technopig: why’s he coming to watch 

wimblursoup: oh 

wimblursoup: well 

wimblursoup: im PROBABLY not supposed to mention this to other people

technopig: tell me 

technopig: tell me right now

technopig: you can’t tell me that it’s a secret and then not tell me 

technopig: do it or i disown you 

wimblursoup: jesus christ im typing

wimblursoup: george has a crush on dream 

technopig: oh lame

wimblursoup: techno why are you like this 

technopig: i’m just saying it’s lame 

technopig: i was hoping for a rivalry of some sort 

technopig: like george was always watching dream so that he could learn all of his moves and finally beat him 

technopig: that would have been cool

wimblursoup: oh my god 

**[study group :D]**

nikinihachu: Hey Fundy! Just wanted to make sure you knew that you’re welcome to bring your friend Ollie with you over to my place! I’d love to meet him!

NotAFurry: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

**[NotAFurry → radishboy]**

NotAFurry: hey, my friends kind of invited you over to hang out with us?

NotAFurry: you don’t have to if you don’t want to 

radishboy: Oh!! which friends? 

radishboy: No I want to!!

NotAFurry: Wil, Niki, Cara, and Minx

radishboy: Oh, I know who they are!!!!

radishboy: Id love to hang out :D 

NotAFurry: ok! :D

NotAFurry: oh fair warning i’m sure you’ll get some questions about the “nature of our relationship” because they’re just Like That

NotAFurry: Niki is very chill though 

NotAFurry: Cara is too for the most part 

NotAFurry: Minx and Wilbur are absolutely insane 

radishboy: haha sounds good :)

**[NotAFurry → nikinihachu]**

NotAFurry: Ollie’s account is @radishboy if you want to add him to the study groupchat 

nikinihachu: Yay!!! Thank you!!!

**[study group :D]**

**[nikinihachu added radishboy to the group]**

nikinihachu: This is Fundy’s friend Ollie!!! 

wimblursoup: oh so youre the one that he kisses in the hallway and pretends like thats a thing that normal people do when theyre friends 

nikinihachu: Wil!!

nikinihachu: You couldn’t have waited three seconds? 

justaminx: no for once i agree with the british bitch 

wimblursoup: hey

justaminx: i’m agreeing with you!!

nikinihachu: Just say Hi like normal people!!

wimblursoup: hi ollie are you dating fundy 

**[nikinihachu removed wimblursoup from the group]**

nikinihachu: Alright. 

nikinihachu: Hi Ollie!!! It’s lovely to meet you. 

radishboy: hi Niki! 

CptPuffy: Nice to meet you!

CptPuffy: I’m Cara

NotAFurry: you can add wil back he does this all the time

**[nikinihachu added wimblursoup to the group]**

wimblursoup: hi ollie its nice to meet you 

radishboy: Hi Wilbur!

nikinihachu: Ollie, do you want to come hang out with us after school today? You’re totally welcome to!!

radishboy: Uh, sure, if you’re ok with that

nikinihachu: Of course!

nikinihachu: Do you need a ride? Cara’s driving me and Minx, but I’m sure we can fit someone else!

wimblursoup: hey what about me 

nikinihachu: You’re walking now! :D

wimblursoup: HEY

radishboy: Oh, that’s ok! Fundy drives me home every day anyway, I’m sure he can take me :D

**[wimblursoup → NotAFurry]**

wimblursoup: okay are you SURE youre not dating this boy 

NotAFurry: wil, I’m gonna be real with you 

NotAFurry: I don’t know 

NotAFurry: I’m pretty sure we aren’t

NotAFurry: but also then we kiss and I’m not sure

wimblursoup: insane!!! 

wimblursoup: minx was right why are men like this 

NotAFurry: I DON’T KNOW 

**[speak german love women]**

wimblursoup: ok im mildly concerned for fundy 

justaminx: and this is a new thing?? 

wimblursoup: ok i was mildly concerned already and now im more concerned

wimblursoup: so basically what he told me is that hes genuinely not sure whether or not hes dating the boy he invited over 

justaminx: how can you be not sure 

wimblursoup: THATS WHAT I SAID, MINX

nikinihachu: Well, it’s not really our business. 

wimblursoup: i am going to make it my business

nikinihachu: Wil. 

wimblursoup: cant hear you making it my business

**[The Teenz]**

TommyInnit: hey Ranboo 

Ranboo: what’s up

TommyInnit: Do you want to come over for dinner

TommyInnit: My dad said hed make pizza

Ranboo: are you not inviting tubbo lol 

TommyInnit: No hes just on the family groupchat

TommyInnit: So Dadza can just ask 

TommyInnit: If tubbo didnt have parents dad would have adopted him

TommyInnit: Do you want to come

Ranboo: uh

TommyInnit: Technos gonna be there

Ranboo: yeah sure i’ll come over! 

Ranboo: just techno, no wil? 

TommyInnit: Wils at nikis

Ranboo: ok 

Ranboo: sounds like fun

TommyInnit: Cool 

TommyInnit: My dad will probably try and adopt you

TommyInnit: Its an addiction at this point 

Ranboo: what 

TommyInnit: Its fine

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

TommyInnit: Dad

Ph1lza: Yeah, kiddo? 

TommyInnit: Ranboo said he can come over for dinner 

Ph1lza: Thanks for letting me know. 

technopig: yo dadza

technopig: don’t adopt the orphan 

technopig: i need him to remain an orphan so he can retain his raw power 

wimblursoup: i am going to change your crunchyroll password

**[speak german love women]**

wimblursoup: hey niki can you give me a ride 

nikinihachu: Fine. 

justaminx: niki don’t 

nikinihachu: Well, you heard her Wil, I can’t take you anymore. 

wimblursoup: D:

CptPuffy: Are we leaving Wil on this chat

justaminx: cara has a point 

wimblursoup: rude

**[technopig → georgenotfound]**

technopig: do you have a crush on dream 

georgenotfound: Literally what the fuck Techno 

technopig: idk i figured i’d ask 

georgenotfound: Why 

technopig: seemed fun 

georgenotfound: Your entire family is on crack all the time 

technopig: dadza makes it homemade

georgenotfound: That explains so much 

technopig: you’re still avoiding the question

georgenotfound: Do you want a ride to practice or not 

technopig: i GUESS

**[dream team xD]**

georgenotfound: I am going to murder technoblade

dreamwastaken: sounds fun can i come 

\--

“I am going to beat Fundy’s ass at Mario Kart,” Wilbur declares as he searches through a box of cords for an HDMI cable. “I am going to destroy him so hard.” 

“That’s nice, Wil,” Niki mumbles, flicking through the pages of Cara’s German textbook. “Do you know when they’ll be here?” 

He checks his phone and says, “Five minutes.” 

“Are you going to be fucking normal for once, Wilbur?” Minx asks from her spot on the counter. 

“I am normal, you Irish  _ bitch-- _ ” 

“English cu--” 

Minx is cut off by the doorbell ringing and Niki knocking a textbook off the table as she rushes to get it. She greets Fundy and Ollie with a smile, welcoming them in as WIlbur yells “Hey, you furry FUCK, I got the switch set up, come lose to me!” 

“I am going to murder you in real life,” Fundy says completely deadpan as he takes his seat next to Wilbur. Niki and Minx share a look as Cara attempts to clean up the papers Niki accidentally swept onto the floor, and Ollie looks around awkwardly. 

“We’re just doing some homework!” Cara says, “You’re welcome to sit with us while they scream at each other for a few hours.” 

“Oh! Alright.” 

Niki smiles at him, then turns back to Cara. Minx leans over to Ollie and grins before whispering, “You’re lucky you can sit with us, I give it ten minutes before Wil and Fundy are screaming and throwing the controllers. Wil’s gone through at least three of Niki’s Switch controllers playing games.” 

Ollie laughs. “Fundy’s not like that, is he?” 

“He is.” Cara nods. “It’s Wil’s influence, I think.” 

“Wil makes everyone around him a worse person,” Minx says, just loud enough that he can hear her, and he flips her off over his shoulder. 

Niki sighs, looking up from the textbook. “He’s really quite nice, Ollie, he’s just loud sometimes. Don’t listen to Minx.” 

“I agree with that!” 

“Shut  _ up,  _ Wilbur!” Minx shouts back. 

“Well, thanks for inviting me,” Ollie says, “It means a lot.” 

“Of course!” Niki smiles at him. “I’m glad you could come! It’s so nice to meet you, if you mean that much to Fundy we would have met eventually, I’m sure, but I’m happy you could--you know?” 

He blushes a little, but nods. “I know.” 

\-- 

**[technopig → TommyInnit]**

technopig: hey tommy

technopig: i think i’m going to be murdered

TommyInnit: Sucks

TommyInnit: Can i have your room 

TommyInnit: If you die

technopig: no 

TommyInnit: Fuck you


	4. new fencing techniques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> george almost commits several crimes. wilbur annoys fundy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on a more serious note, there's some random angst in this chapter (mostly directed at tommy) and a bit of shade towards adopted kids (not from any of the characters, just for plot reasons). take care of yourself babes!
> 
> \-- 
> 
> if you saw me post this chapter and then immediately delete it uhhh no you didn't.   
> (it was because i forgot to ctrl+f replace the usernames lmaooo)

**[dream team xD]**

georgenotfound: I’ve invented a new fencing technique 

dreamwastaken: oh???

dreamwastaken: do tell 

georgenotfound: It’s really cool 

georgenotfound: I take the pommel of my sword

georgenotfound: And I knock Technoblade the fuck out 

Sapnap: i am SO curious what he did 

dreamwastaken: have you considered simply stabbing him 

Sapnap: george what did he DO 

georgenotfound: not relevant, just know I’m going to kill him and move onto Wilbur next 

Sapnap: george middle name not last name found is going to singlehandedly murder everyone in that family 

dreamwastaken: can i kill tommy

georgenotfound: Sure

**[Sapnap → technopig]**

Sapnap: what the hell did you do to george 

technopig: oh 

technopig: is he mad about that 

Sapnap: what did you DO 

Sapnap: legally you have to tell me 

technopig: i don’t know you 

Sapnap: technoblade i’m in your chemistry class i will tell ms. martin that you’ve been giving skeppy answers for the whole semester 

technopig: oh we’re doing real blackmail now 

Sapnap: :)

technopig: bruh you literally set a trash can on fire last week

Sapnap: okay so we’re even on secrets

Sapnap: just tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

technopig: oh i asked george if he had a crush on dream 

Sapnap: KGDJFHKSDJ

Sapnap: technopig bravest man alive??

technopig: yeah i’ll take that 

Sapnap: what’d he say??

technopig: nothing 

Sapnap: laaaaame 

Sapnap: blackmail revoked tho

technopig: martin already knew about the fire thing anyways

Sapnap: yeah i’m pretty sure no one thinks skeppy does his own homework 

Sapnap: don’t tell him i said that his boyfriend knows how to throw knives 

technopig: his w h a t 

Sapnap: his 

Sapnap: you know what 

Sapnap: ask your brother 

technopig: subpoena

technopig: SAPNAP*

Sapnap: LMAO 

technopig: i’m going to block you now 

Sapnap: coward

**[technopig → skeppy]**

technopig: yo skeppy 

skeppy: wassup 

technopig: do you have a boyfriend

skeppy: waht 

skeppy: techno what the fuckm

skeppy: tehcno 

technopig: so is that a no 

skeppy: i am going to commit murder 

technopig: that is the most coherent message i’ve ever seen you send 

skeppy: i am sruiosu abt murder, tecno 

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

technopig: father

Ph1lza: Yes, my son?

technopig: i’m afraid i’ve made a few enemies. 

Ph1lza: All in a day’s work. 

ILikeDaBee: George is going to kill hm he says

ILikeDaBee: Skeepy too i think

technopig: i can beat them both easily

ILikeDaBee: Sure but if you hurt george then you deal w dream 

technopig: i’m not scared of him 

Ph1lza: Techno, isn’t Skeppy one of your best friends?

technopig: details, father 

Ph1lza: They don’t… actually hate you, right? 

ILikeDaBee: Mr. Phil it is possible that they do 

technopig: nah i’m sure it’s fine 

technopig: excited to learn george’s new fencing technique where he beats me to death with his bare hands

Ph1lza: I’m not paying your hospital bills. 

technopig: then what is even the point of being your son

**[TommyInnit → technopig]**

TommyInnit: Techno 

TommyInnit: Do you think im stupid 

technopig: do you want an honest answer or a joke answer 

TommyInnit: Well im just asking because i didnt do well on a paper in english and the teacher said that she thought I just wasnt cut out for this kind of work 

technopig: interesting 

technopig: no, tommy, i don’t think you’re stupid. 

technopig: you’re smart. english is a weird dumb class. 

TommyInnit: Really

technopig: yeah, bro. 

technopig: this is cringe but 

technopig: i love you, tommy. you’re my brother. 

TommyInnit: I love you too 

technopig: and let me know if the teacher ever says dumb stuff to you again, i own several swords and i’m real good at using them 

TommyInnit: Let me know if you stab someone

TommyInnit: Would love to laugh at you while your in jail 

technopig: *you’re 

TommyInnit: Fuck off 

TommyInnit: Oh 

TommyInnit: I know you gave Ranboo the answers to the Hw

TommyInnit: Thank you 

technopig: i would literally never do that 

technopig: but 

technopig: you’re welcome

**[Sapnap → georgenotfound]**

Sapnap: i cant believe you lied to technoblade 

georgenotfound: I didn’t lie 

georgenotfound: I dodged the question 

Sapnap: literally everyone knows you have a crush on dream 

georgenotfound: I don’t is the thing 

Sapnap: L I A R 

Sapnap: how dare you lie to me, your best friend

georgenotfound: I’m not lying

Sapnap: oh so you’re a coward?????

georgenotfound: Sap, I don’t have a crush on Dream

georgenotfound: I’m not in middle school 

Sapnap: okay 

Sapnap: that’s true 

Sapnap: you’re almost an adult 

Sapnap: so what i should be saying 

Sapnap: is that you’re madly fucking in love with him 

georgenotfound: SAPNAP 

Sapnap: :)

georgenotfound: Why are you like this??

Sapnap: because i’ve literally been best friends with the two of you since middle school and i’ve been third wheeling the whole time

Sapnap: admit your feelings!! coward

georgenotfound: WHAT FEELINGS 

Sapnap: the gay ones, idiot 

georgenotfound: I regret telling you that I like guys so much 

Sapnap: dude you watch all of dream’s practices 

georgenotfound: yeah, and? 

georgenotfound: We’re friends

Sapnap: you have literally never watched me practice 

georgenotfound: well 

georgenotfound: you’re not hot 

Sapnap: CASE IN FUCKING POINT, GOGY

Sapnap: and excuse you 

georgenotfound: Okay

georgenotfound: So what if I do like Dream

Sapnap: oh i don’t know i didn’t think i’d get this far 

georgenotfound: I hate you 

Sapnap: good 

**[speak german love women]**

wimblursoup: ok so im texting this from a secret location 

nikinihachu: You are ten feet away from me. 

wimblursoup: secret location

wimblursoup: anyways 

wimblursoup: i would like to meddle in someone else’s relationship 

justaminx: what the fuck else is new 

justaminx: but i would also like to do that yes

CptPuffy: Guys 

justaminx: cara, look me in the eyes 

justaminx: do it irl while i text you 

CptPuffy: ...No

justaminx: fine

justaminx: look at them 

justaminx: look at the LOOK on fundy’s face 

wimblursoup: he looks like hes totally in love 

wimblursoup: look at them 

justaminx: but not in a suspicious way 

wimblursoup: no of course not 

nikinihachu: …

nikinihachu: They do look awfully cute together. 

justaminx: he’s ASLEEP on fundy’s LAP 

justaminx: isn’t that the cutest fucking shit you’ve ever seen

CptPuffy: I hate it when Minx and Wilbur agree with each other 

nikinihachu: Why?

CptPuffy: Because it means they’re either very correct or very, very incorrect 

CptPuffy: Usually, it’s the second. 

CptPuffy: So it terrifies me that it might be the first 

CptPuffy: Cause I don’t think that’s ever happened before 

justaminx: see i love you so much and you do this to me 

CptPuffy: Aw I love you too Minx!!

justaminx: mwah 

justaminx: anyways 

justaminx: i think we should confront them about this 

nikinihachu: No. 

nikinihachu: That’s just embarrassing for them! 

wimblursoup: fundy is running his fingers through ollie’s hair! 

wimblursoup: what the fuck is this 

wimblursoup: gross

**[wimblursoup → NotAFurry]**

wimblursoup: hey so like 

wimblursoup: is he just platonically asleep on your lap 

NotAFurry: dude I just 

NotAFurry: I don’t know anymore 

NotAFurry: I really just don’t know 

wimblursoup: okay i am going to ask you a question

wimblursoup: and be aware that someone is sleeping on you right now 

wimblursoup: so you can’t punch me 

NotAFurry: this feels like a trap 

wimblursoup: oh it is 

wimblursoup: do you like him? 

wimblursoup: like, like-like him? 

NotAFurry: are you twelve?

wimblursoup: well my older brother has never even heard of a relationship and my younger brother is tommy so i don’t have much experience with what can only be described as a crush outside of cheesy movies 

NotAFurry: that’s a really long way to say yes

wimblursoup: okay then yes

wimblursoup: do you have a crush on ollie 

wimblursoup: do you want to date him

NotAFurry: I think so

wimblursoup: now i may be oversimplifying this 

wimblursoup: but 

wimblursoup: just date him then????

NotAFurry: well I can’t just do that 

wimblursoup: ????????????????????

**[speak german love women]**

**[wimblursoup sent a screenshot]**

wimblursoup: the furry fuck

justaminx: oh my goooooooooood

**[technopig → wimblursoup]**

technopig: hey so you know how i’m bad at emotions

wimblursoup: yeah

technopig: so tommy asked me if i thought he was stupid and he seemed really sad so i don’t know what do about that? 

technopig: i don’t know

technopig: i feel like we should help him 

wimblursoup: yeah i think we maybe should 

technopig: or just like be nice to him

wimblursoup: nah

technopig: yeah you’re right that’s too much 

technopig: his teacher was a jerk to him apparently

wimblursoup: aw :/

wimblursoup: was it the same one who gave him shit about being adopted 

technopig: the one who WHAT 

wimblursoup: idk some teacher made some comment in class about adopted kids never adjusting as well as “natural kids” 

technopig: oh what the hell

wimblursoup: and thats the class that ranboos in but not tubbo and i think it was back when ranboo still thought you just didnt have a british accent but we were bio related 

technopig: omg i forgot about that

wimblursoup: so tommy just kinda sat there and was sad 

wimblursoup: this is according to ranboo and not tommy

technopig: that sucks 

technopig: like i know he can take care of himself and also he’s annoying so i don’t need to talk to him all the time

technopig: but he’s my brother and i’m the only one that’s allowed to be mean to him 

wimblursoup: and also me

technopig: and also you 

technopig: if that teacher gives him a hard time again i bring a sword to school 

wimblursoup: do it anyways 

wimblursoup: :)

**[technopig → Ranboo]**

technopig: did you actually think that wil and tommy were my bio brothers and i just didn’t have a british accent

technopig: like everyone else in my family was british but i just decided not to be 

Ranboo: in my defense 

Ranboo: you also have pink hair 

Ranboo: i just thought you wanted to be different 

technopig: and i did that by not having a british accent 

Ranboo: is there a reason you brought this back up 

technopig: just wanted to relive it 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering why i call 5up ollie, it's because the name got stuck in my head from something and it bothers the perfectionist part of me to have numbers in someone's name. apparently that's where i draw the line idk 
> 
> what the hell was that valentine's day stream. i swear they're going to announce that they're married and i'm not gonna be able to tell if it's a bit 
> 
> also anime boy techno supremacy


	5. let's do it baby i know the law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wilbur recieves several (mostly deserved) death threats. ranboo, tubbo, and tommy confront their friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha school is not pog am i right fellow kids

“Thanks for inviting me over,” Ranboo says, leaning awkwardly against the doorframe. He’s usually abnormally tall, but Tommy is also ridiculously tall, so it evens out. 

“Of course!” Phil replies cheerily, pulling a tray out of the oven. “Glad you could come. You’re always welcome here.”

Tubbo is already rummaging through the cabinets; it’s obvious he knows his way around here. Ranboo’s only ever been to Tommy’s house once or twice, whereas Tubbo’s on the family groupchat--it’s hard not to feel a little inferior in that friendship.

The garage door slams shut and Techno calls, “I’m home, nerds!”, to which Phil rolls his eyes. “Hey, it’s the orphan!” he says, grinning at Ranboo. “Good to see you, sad I can’t stab you tonight.”

“I need a break every once in a while, sensei,” he jokes, and Techno laughs. 

Tubbo pokes his head out of the cabinet. “Techno, who drove you home?” 

“Uh.” Techno blanches. “Sapnap did.” 

“Doesn’t George usually give you a ride?” Phil asks, confused. 

“George is mad at him!” Tommy yells from the top of the stairs where he’s struggling with several Xbox cords. “My best friend Dream told me!” 

Tubbo looks mildly offended at that. “Hey!” he protests, and Tommy just laughs. 

“It’s cause Techno asked George if he--” 

Techno sprints to the stairs, clamping his hand over Tommy’s mouth. “Talk to Dream about that again and I will pay for fencing lessons just so I can curbstomp you fairly, Tommy.” 

“Technoblade, let go of your brother,” Phil says, mostly just annoyed. 

“It’s because Techno asked George about a crush,” Tubbo says smugly, and Techno glares at him so intensely that Ranboo is vaguely scared for his own life. 

Techno lets go of Tommy with a warning look and mutters, “Only cause Wilbur said I should.” 

“Techno, you’re so intelligent, surely you’ve learned by now not to listen to what your brother says about other people’s relationships?” Phil calls, exasperated. “Dinner’s ready whenever you guys are. I’m so sorry about them, Ranboo, but I can’t help but assume they’re like this all the time.” 

Ranboo just laughs. “It feels good to be included.” 

\--

**[technopig → wimblursoup]**

technopig: i am going to beat you to death with niki’s nintendo switch 

wimblursoup: sounds fun 

wimblursoup: you have a date in mind?

**[FENCING POG]**

Sapnap: hey is there like

Sapnap: a tournament this weekend

Sapnap: or is dream just fucking with me 

dreamwastaken: i have literally never lied to you 

technopig: wait there’s a tournament?

technopig: what 

ILikeDaBee: Yeah its tomorrow isnt it 

Ranboo: for sure tomorrow

Ranboo: just sabre i think

ILikeDaBee: so many types of sticks to stab with

ILikeDaBee: Why do we need so many 

technopig: variety is the spice of life

technopig: therefore, it should be the spice of ending life as well 

technopig: :)

ILikeDaBee: Pog

Sapnap: so i don’t have a tournament tomorrow 

technopig: you do not, no 

Sapnap: so what dream did is lie to me 

dreamwastaken: i forgot

Sapnap: uh huh 

Sapnap: sounds like what a liar would say 

**[technopig → wimblursoup]**

technopig: i have a tournament tomorrow

technopig: go and i will consider not strangling you 

wimblursoup: wait but what if i want to die :( 

technopig: i’ll tell dad 

wimblursoup: ok jeez ill go 

**[Ph1lza → wimblursoup]**

Ph1lza: You coming home tonight or staying over? 

wimblursoup: home

wimblursoup: promised techno id go to his tourney tomorrow

Ph1lza: That’s very sweet of you. 

wimblursoup: it was under threat

Ph1lza: I’m going to pretend like I didn’t see that and act like my sons like each other. 

**[Ranboo → ILikeDaBee]**

Ranboo: do you really come here all the time? 

ILikeDaBee: Why are you texting 

Ranboo: don’t want to talk about this out loud 

ILikeDaBee: Ok 

ILikeDaBee: Yeah I come here alot 

ILikeDaBee: Why 

Ranboo: idk 

Ranboo: it feels weird 

Ranboo: cause you come here often and this is like the second time i’ve ever been here 

ILikeDaBee: Oh

ILikeDaBee: yeah I get it 

ILikeDaBee: Youre still cool though

ILikeDaBee: I like hanging out with you

Ranboo: thanks tubbo 

ILikeDaBee: :D

**[dreamwastaken → georgenotfound]**

dreamwastaken: hey george 

dreamwastaken: do you wanna go get food after the tourney tomorrow

georgenotfound: I’m not sabre, I’m not competing 

dreamwastaken: so you aren’t going? :(

georgenotfound: …

georgenotfound: No, I’ll be there

dreamwastaken: yay :)

**[georgenotfound → Sapnap]**

georgenotfound: Sapnap

Sapnap: ye

georgenotfound: Did dream just ask me out on a date? 

**[georgenotfound sent a screenshot]**

Sapnap: bruh 

Sapnap: maybe??? 

georgenotfound: Help????

**[Sapnap → dreamwastaken]**

Sapnap: did you ask george out on a date? 

dreamwastaken: what? 

Sapnap: did you or did you not ask george out on a date

dreamwastaken: no??

dreamwastaken: i just wanted pizza smh my head

dreamwastaken: why, does he think it’s a date? 

dreamwastaken: huh 

Sapnap: i’m not equipped to deal with this 

dreamwastaken: wait then why’d you ask 

Sapnap: because i wanted to know 

Sapnap: but now i think that was a bad choice 

dreamwastaken: well do you know if he thinks it’s a date? 

Sapnap: ask him 

dreamwastaken: so you do know 

Sapnap: ask 

Sapnap: george

Sapnap: not

Sapnap: me 

dreamwastaken: :(

Sapnap: literally no one cares if you’re gay or bi or whatever

Sapnap: if that’s what the problem is 

Sapnap: don’t pull that internalized homophobia bullshit with me 

dreamwastaken: it’s not THAT 

Sapnap: okay 

Sapnap: good 

Sapnap: then i have only one thing to say to you 

Sapnap: i know i started this 

Sapnap: and i do regret it 

dreamwastaken: i will talk to george 

Sapnap: thank you 

dreamwastaken: at some point 

Sapnap: goddamnit

**[The Teenz]**

TommyInnit: Hey Ranboo 

Ranboo: we’re in the same house 

TommyInnit: Different floors 

TommyInnit: Are you mad at me 

Ranboo: no??

TommyInnit: Okay 

Ranboo: why are we not talking in person 

TommyInnit: Different floors!

TommyInnit: Do you want to play Xbox with us

Ranboo: yeah i’ll be up soon 

**[TommyInnit → ILikeDaBee]**

TommyInnit: Im pretty sure hes mad at me 

ILikeDaBee: No i don’t think he is 

TommyInnit: How do you know 

ILikeDaBee: I think hes a bit jealous 

ILikeDaBee: Of me 

ILikeDaBee: Cause I go here all the time and stuff 

ILikeDaBee: On the family gc and all 

ILikeDaBee: Bit weird to be the third person to our friendship 

ILikeDaBee: I think 

TommyInnit: THe fuck 

TommyInnit: Why do you know all that 

TommyInnit: are you a therapist now? 

ILikeDaBee: No 

ILikeDaBee: He texted me earlier 

TommyInnit: Damn you could of convinced me you were magic 

ILikeDaBee: No Im far too stupid for that 

TommyInnit: Youre not stupid :(

ILikeDaBee: I know 

**[TommyInnit → Ranboo]**

TommyInnit: Your allowed to come over whenever you want

TommyInnit: :)

Ranboo: is that a threat?

TommyInnit: yes 

**[skeppy → badboyhalo]**

skeppy: do you min dif i come n watch u tmrw?

badboyhalo: Never!! Come watch whenever you want, I’ll always be happy to see you. 

badboyhalo: We can get breakfast beforehand! 

badboyhalo: It’ll be fun. 

skeppy: yay

**[georgenotfound → wimblursoup]**

georgenotfound: Wilbur. 

wimblursoup: gogy my man

georgenotfound: Did you tell your brother that thing I told you in private

georgenotfound: About maybe liking Dream? 

wimblursoup: it depends

georgenotfound: I already know that you did 

wimblursoup: ok well then yes i did do that 

georgenotfound: Wil 

wimblursoup: sorry 

wimblursoup: he peer pressured me 

georgenotfound: So he asked you like, half a question 

georgenotfound: Gotcha. 

wimblursoup: he wanted to know why you always go to dreams practices

wimblursoup: its a bit sus gogy 

georgenotfound: You going to the tourney tomorrow? 

wimblursoup: ye 

georgenotfound: If you disappear mysteriously tomorrow, let the record show it wasn’t my fault. 

wimblursoup: :(


	6. tourney pog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sapnap's a little done with his friends. technoblade should maybe consider doing less dumb stuff if he wants to stop getting called out for doing dumb stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor cw for joking about drugs, nothing serious!!
> 
> sorry it's been a little while, i uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah

**[FENCING POG]**

technopig: wake up, idiots 

technopig: only sabre idiots though. everyone else, i don’t care about you

Sapnap: awh techno <3

technopig: especially you 

Sapnap: i love that we're friends now 

Sapnap: so much fun 

dreamwastaken: yo techno don't steal my friends

technopig: don't you worry about that

technopig: worry about not sucking today

dreamwastaken: never have never will

technopig: mhmm. so that’s why i have the first place trophy and you have the second place 

dreamwastaken: legally you cannot prove that happened

technopig: and legally i’m related to tommy, you think the law holds any power over me?

ILikeDaBee: Techno!!!! dont b mean to Tommy 

technopig: you’re not my dad 

ILikeDaBee: I can text ur real one? 

technopig: please don’t do that i’m still in trouble for like three different things 

Ranboo: and that would be? 

technopig: not applicable

Ranboo: shame

Ranboo: is it fighting skeppy, ““““accidentally”””” upsetting george, and nearly knocking tommy out last night? 

technopig: orphan

Ranboo: yes?

technopig: you coming to the tournament today? 

Ranboo: i am!

technopig: cool 

technopig: gonna try out george’s new fencing technique 

Ranboo: what’s that? 

technopig: beating you to death with my bare hands 

dreamwastaken: hey i taught him that 

georgenotfound: Why is everyone in this groupchat on meth all the time 

ILikeDaBee: Dadzas homemade

georgenotfound: Okay does Phil actually sell drugs because Techno also made that joke 

Sapnap: wait i want whatever will’s been on for the past ten years 

technopig: that’s just wil

ILikeDaBee: Yea thats defiantly just Wil 

tapL: Man sometimes I mute this group for a bit cause I have homework and then Techno’s on meth I guess??

**[speak german love women]**

wimblursoup: im at the tourney 

wimblursoup: hows everyones day going 

justaminx: it is goddamn eight in the morning 

justaminx: on a SATURDAY 

wimblursoup: yeah but im at the tourney minx

justaminx: whys he still in this chat? 

wimblursoup: :( 

**[wimblursoup → georgenotfound]**

wimblursoup: hey r u here? 

georgenotfound: I want to answer that, but I’m terrified of the consequences

georgenotfound: ...Yes? 

wimblursoup: ur not competing though? 

georgenotfound: No

wimblursoup: :0 

wimblursoup: may i guess why 

georgenotfound: Oh god 

georgenotfound: I’m here for Dream, if you insist on knowing 

wimblursoup: i knew it 

georgenotfound: You’re welcome to hang out with me 

wimblursoup: thanks gogy 

wimblursoup: wouldnt want to interrupt your watch time tho

wimblursoup: ;) 

georgenotfound: Are you positive you’re not on drugs 

wimblursoup: just claritin 

georgenotfound: Come over to where I’m sitting 

georgenotfound: Do me the favor of teasing me in person

wimblursoup: fine 

**[georgenotfound → dreamwastaken]**

georgenotfound: You did so good!!!

georgenotfound: I’m so happy I came and watched

dreamwastaken: thanks george :D

dreamwastaken: you mind hanging around for a bit? i wanna watch techno’s bout 

georgenotfound: Anything for you

georgenotfound: I mean 

georgenotfound: Mostly anything 

georgenotfound: ;)

dreamwastaken: lol 

**[georgenotfound → Sapnap]**

**[georgenotfound sent a screenshot]**

georgenotfound: Sapnap I think I messed up 

Sapnap: LMFAO 

Sapnap: dude you’re so gay

Sapnap: *gone

Sapnap: works either way LMAOOOO

Sapnap: the ‘lol’ oh my GOD 

Sapnap: GEORGE 

georgenotfound: I KNOW 

Sapnap: i simply cannot 

georgenotfound: I feel so stupiiiiiiiiiiiid

georgenotfound: He’s gonna hate me 

Sapnap: he literally cannot hate you but go off 

**[dreamwastaken → Sapnap]**

**[dreamwastaken sent a screenshot]**

dreamwastaken: YO HELP 

dreamwastaken: WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN

Sapnap: LMAOOOOOOOO 

**[Sapnap added KarlJ, quackity to a new group]**

**[Sapnap renamed the group to: help i need to tell someone about this]**

**[Sapnap sent a screenshot]**

**[Sapnap sent a screenshot]**

Sapnap: TWO MINUTES APART

KarlJ: Oh, you’re KIDDING me

quackity: oh big oof

Sapnap: why

Sapnap: does

Sapnap: this 

Sapnap: keep 

Sapnap: happening

KarlJ: Sorry, Sap 

KarlJ: :/

quackity: thats so fucking funny though 

quackity: are they just Like That

Sapnap: all the time 

Sapnap: all the goddamn time!!!

Sapnap: they hate me!!!

**[georgenotfound → wimblursoup]**

georgenotfound: I’m going to talk to you about something

georgenotfound: But you have to promise me to be actually helpful 

wimblursoup: seems serious 

wimblursoup: whats up?

**[georgenotfound sent a screenshot]**

wimblursoup: …

wimblursoup: ok can i laugh a little bit 

wimblursoup: just a teeny bit 

georgenotfound: Yeah but then you have to help 

wimblursoup: ok 

wimblursoup: you really are just that gay huh???

wimblursoup: serious time now 

wimblursoup: whats wrong? 

wimblursoup: aside from seeming a bit desperate i dont really see a problem 

georgenotfound: I’m sure he hates me 

wimblursoup: oh my god no he doesnt 

wimblursoup: hes dream

georgenotfound: It was just so dumb 

wimblursoup: sometimes we do dumb shit gogy

wimblursoup: if anything im sure hes just flustered and doesnt know how to respond

wimblursoup: gogy the winky face

wimblursoup: i have so many questions 

georgenotfound: I don’t have a single goddamn answer 

wimblursoup: well if u need my honest opinion

wimblursoup: which i assume u do because u asked me 

wimblursoup: dream would murder a small child for you 

wimblursoup: dream would do that anyway lemme think of a better metaphor

wimblursoup: dream would quit fencing and publicly admit that technoblade was always and has always been better than him if you asked him to 

georgenotfound: That’s not

georgenotfound: That’s not true, is it?

wimblursoup: its pretty damn close to the truth 

wimblursoup: its a powerful friendship you two have

wimblursoup: stronger than a winky face can ruin

georgenotfound: You’re… smart 

georgenotfound: Sometimes 

wimblursoup: dont you dare 

georgenotfound: Thank you, Wilbur

wimblursoup: of course, gogy

wimblursoup: go get ur mans!!! yas queen

georgenotfound: Instantly ruined

wimblursoup: i thought it might be a bit much

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

TommyInnit: Techno you did really good today 

TommyInnit: Tubbo you to

ILikeDaBee: Thank you!!!!

ILikeDaBee: Glad that you came 

technopig: i accept your flattery, thank you 

technopig: and

technopig: i’m glad you guys came and watched

technopig: or something 

Ph1lza: Of course, kiddo! 

Ph1lza: I will always be at your tourneys as long as I physically can be.

Ph1lza: Possibly even after. 

ILikeDaBee: Dadzas gonna haunt the tourney hall 

technopig: he would 

ILikeDaBee: Spooooky ghost, haunting the local tourney hall 

ILikeDaBee: Telling his sons to stop being idiooooooots

Ph1lza: Tubbo, I really have been trying to tell them that for going on ten years, and it’s not taken hold yet. 

Ph1lza: Tommy was only six. I thought I could impress upon him that Wil and Techno were not ideal role models, considering one of them got kicked out of a public office building and one of them came home crying because someone stole their brilliant idea about using FDR’s fireside chats in a presentation, but it was so futile. 

technopig: DAD 

technopig: i was not CRYING 

technopig: i was rightfully upset because i wanted to talk about it and it would have seemed like i copied the person who used it 

wimblursoup: i thought i was allowed in the building 

wimblursoup: didnt say i couldnt film a video there 

TommyInnit: And people wonder where I get it from

ILikeDaBee: Nobody wonders 

ILikeDaBee: We know 

Ph1lza: Well, so long as people are aware. 

Ph1lza: I love you boys so much, but you’re not the most common-sense laden bunch. 

technopig: thanks 

wimblursoup: love you too 

TommyInnit: Your so nice dad 

Ph1lza: :D 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always feel like i have to explain some of my jokes lol. claritin is an allergy medicine
> 
> leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!! there's a plot in there somewhere idk


	7. you can't just ask people if they're gay, techno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> techno really needs glasses. skeppy's a little annoyed, but mostly it's just funny. the gossip chain between these teenagers is impressive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that if you're reading this, you know the mental health struggle. it's been a Week, y'all, it really has
> 
> hope you like it, sorry it's been so long :D

**[technopig → skeppy]**

technopig: hey skeppy

skeppy: whassup

technopig: you never answered my question the other day 

technopig: about having a boyfriend

skeppy: so have u doen the chem hw yet 

technopig: you’re dodging the question

skeppy: ive never even come out to u how do u kow that it would be a boyfrifn 

skeppy: *boyfreinf 

skeppy: *boyfriend

technopig: uh 

technopig: well

technopig: ...sorry? 

technopig: i’m not good at that kind of thing. 

skeppy: emotion thinsg?

skeppy: askung people insted f assumin?

technopig: yeah, that. 

skeppy: isokay 

technopig: i’m still sorry. it was kinda rude, thinking about it. 

skeppy: ur goof dw

technopig: which would it be? 

skeppy: wat

technopig: boyfriend, girlfriend? both, neither, anyone? 

skeppy: oh

skeppy: both

skeppy: any1 mabye

skeppy: tehcno blade have u eve rmet a gay persom b4

technopig: yes!

skeppy: mkay

technopig: chalk it up to the fact that i don’t have any emotional intelligence.

technopig: whoever made my stats page didn’t balance it very well

technopig: sorry, skeppy. 

technopig: should’ve known better than to trust a comment from subpoena at this point

technopig: *SAPNAP

technopig: god fucking damn it 

technopig: skeppy? 

technopig: where’d you go?

skeppy: wat

skeppy: oh

skeppy: jsut trying to figure otu how to tell u that i do 

technopig: you do what 

skeppy: have a bofyried

technopig: hey sorry what?

skeppy: we jsut had this whle converdation

technopig: no i don’t care about the boyfriend thing

technopig: just trying to figure out how you misspelled it that badly

technopig: do you type with your eyes closed? 

skeppy: ud think as the only not-british son ud be less of a dick abt englishf

technopig: rude

technopig: do i know him? 

skeppy: who

technopig: your boyfriend, you absolute buffoon

skeppy: oh 

skeppy: ye

technopig: damn 

technopig: shouldn’t have told me that

technopig: is it a secret? 

skeppy: no 

skeppy: wel

skeppy: kinda 

skeppy: its not but iw ant to see i fu cna guess

technopig: i mean 

technopig: my dude

technopig: it’s bad

skeppy: wait hows u kno

technopig: a magician never reveals his secrets.

technopig: also like. no shit, skeppy

skeppy: :(

**[Family groupchat + Tubbo (my best friend)]**

technopig: phil is it your fault i’m so emotionally unintelligent

Ph1lza: I prefer to blame that on the fact I found you in a garbage can, son. 

wimblursoup: i know hes jokin but i so wish he wasnt

technopig: okay, rude

technopig: if one of my best friends was bi/pan/something and in a relationship 

technopig: and i just learned that today 

technopig: and somehow had missed that about him for about two-three years

technopig: that would be bad, right? 

wimblursoup: technically i think youre talking about skeppy but it applies to bad too yea

technopig: i am going to remove your elbows, wilbur

Ph1lza: Did he seem mad? 

technopig: no 

Ph1lza: Then he’s probably not mad. 

Ph1lza: Maybe a conversation you should have had in person. 

Ph1lza: I didn’t know Skeppy had a boyfriend! Good for him, though. Hope he’s doing well, I never see him around our place anymore. 

technopig: that’s because you banned him when he set the curtains on fire by accident while we were doing chemistry hw

Ph1lza: Shame he doesn’t come around much. 

Ph1lza: Wonder why. 

technopig: are my messages not going through or is he ignoring me 

Ph1lza: I would never ignore you, Techno. 

technopig: then where were you for the first five years of my life, dad

Ph1lza: Britain, I think. 

TommyInnit: Wait skeppy has a boyfriend 

technopig: i maybe should have checked to see if i was allowed to tell people about this before sending it to the family groupchat 

ILikeDaBee: Your fine

ILikeDaBee: Pretty sure its not a secret

wimblursoup: its definitely not a secret lmao 

wimblursoup: correct me if im wrong but i think skeppys pfp is still a picture of him and bad kissing

ILikeDaBee: No ur right it is 

technopig: WHAT

Ph1lza: “Phil, how do you handle three teenage boys?” they ask me. 

Ph1lza: I always tell them that the chaos is worth it in the end. 

Ph1lza: Sometimes, I’m mistaken. 

Ph1lza: Techno, kiddo, do you need to go to the eye doctor?

technopig: no dad i’m fine 

Ph1lza: Okay. 

Ph1lza: Are you sure? 

technopig: dad

**[study group :D]**

wimblursoup: im fuckingf crying my brother is the most unaware person on the entire planet

NotAFurry: Which one?

justaminx: which one

CptPuffy: ...Which one?

nikinihachu: Dare I ask which one? 

radishboy: see I didn’t even know you well enough to know you had two brothers but now I’m inclined to ask which one :P

wimblursoup: i mean, 

wimblursoup: generally i mean both

wimblursoup: today i mean anime boy 

justaminx: translate for us casuals who don’t know your exact family dynamic

wimblursoup: techno

wimblursoup: i call tommy ‘idiot child’

wimblursoup: out of love

nikinihachu: Mkay. 

NotAFurry: what did he do?

wimblursoup: apparently he just learned today that skeppy had a boyfriend

CptPuffy: I’m much closer to Bad than Skeppy, so I don’t know for sure, but isn’t Skeppy’s pfp the same as Bad’s?????

CptPuffy: Like, the one of them kissing??? 

wimblursoup: IT SURE FUCKING IS, CARA

**[skeppy → badboyhalo]**

skeppy: told techno abt us toda y 

badboyhalo: He didn’t… already know? 

skeppy: ig not 

badboyhalo: Huh. 

badboyhalo: You’ve not changed your profile picture, right? 

skeppy: no tsince u took it no 

badboyhalo: Lol. 

badboyhalo: Think he’ll stop teasing you about simping for me? 

skeppy: hell be to stunned to rea t for a wwk and then hell double down 

badboyhalo: Seems about right.

badboyhalo: Why didn’t you tell him sooner, if he didn’t know? 

skeppy: though t he knew 

skeppy: wasnt. ashamed of u 

skeppy: promise :(

badboyhalo: Awh. 

badboyhalo: Love you, ducky. 

skeppy: i love you too. 

badboyhalo: <3

skeppy: <3

**[help i need to tell someone about this]**

**[Sapnap renamed the group to: i need to bitch about dream and gogy]**

quackity: descriptive title

Sapnap: it’s true, what can i say 

Sapnap: just heard a rumor that technoblade just learned that skeppy and bad were dating though

KarlJ: It’s not a rumor, Wil told me. 

Sapnap: same difference, karl

quackity: i mean, objectively hilarious, but not really related to the title of the chat

Sapnap: oh right 

Sapnap: have i mentioned that i hate them? 

KarlJ: Yeah. 

Sapnap: like, a lot? 

quackity: si

Sapnap: doesn’t that mean if

Sapnap: without an accent

quackity: well, yeah, but i don’t have a spanish keyboard on my phone

quackity: use your imagination, sapnap

Sapnap: no 

KarlJ: Any particular reason you hate them today, or? 

Sapnap: gogy was telling me about a convo he had with wil and it just made me think. wow my friends are fucking stupid 

quackity: it’s not far to judge someone based on the company they keep

KarlJ: Yeah, otherwise where would we be, with someone like you as our friend?

Sapnap: do you want me to talk to you or not 

quackity: not really

KarlJ: Depends on the day. 

Sapnap: i love you both so much and this is what i get in return

KarlJ: Love you too, dork. 

quackity: keep telling your story

Sapnap: anyways george was apparently concerned he’d fucked up his relationship with dream by sending him one (1) winky face

KarlJ: That’s very forward for him

Sapnap: ikr

Sapnap: but like. goddamn he’s so gone

Sapnap: like so far gone

Sapnap: it’s infuriating 

KarlJ: Shame he can’t tell Dream’s the same way

Sapnap: it really fuckin is, karl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, typing with my eyes closed is how i get the typos in skeppy's messages, and even then i have to artificially add some because i know the layout of my keyboard too well. it's for the realism, babes, it's for the realism

**Author's Note:**

> normally this is where i would promote my socials but uh. not gonna do that
> 
> comment and leave kudos if you liked it!!
> 
> also techno's username is based off of an old mcm joke about how they always misprinted his name on the roster, i just thought it was funny lol


End file.
